With about 40% of marriages ending in divorce, the last thing you want to deal with is tensions from divorced parents on your big day!
A lot of parents get along with each other after divorce but weddings can be stressful and it’s the perfect place for problems to occur, here are some ways to deal with it before it boils over at your reception.
-Figure out who’s paying for what, with no strings attached.
-Sit them down separately and talk through your concerns with them
-Try and keep their alcohol consumption down if they cant handle their alcohol
-Take time to organise the table seating. Some parents want to be equally close to the bridal table, which might mean putting 4 tables equally distant from you! Talk to the function manager if you think this might need to be done so that they can put it on the table plot. I’ve DJd weddings in Melbourne that have had parents moving Name Cards on tables because they wanted prime position!
– Figure out how the speeches will work, if they get along then a speech together is awesome! If they don’t, then maybe split the speeches before and after dinner so that they dont feel that they’re “competing”.
– Try and get your parents (or in-laws) to catch up before the wedding socially. Quite often parents wont see each other for 10 years and then meet their new wives or husbands AT the wedding for the first time. Best to get the awkwardness out the way before the wedding if possible.
-I MC’d one wedding at St. Pauls in Adelaide (it’s been renovated now) that had a sunken dancefloor and they separated both sides of the room for each family. No one from either side talked to the other, even the dancefloor was segregated! I felt bad at the end of the night because only about 40 people danced but the Bride and Groom were stoked, because the last time their families had met they had fist fights on christmas day!
-Get the uncles and aunties involved, if they are good at dealing with conflict then get them involved in dealing with your parents as its a very emotional day and they may go through a lot, which you cant deal with because your day will go so fast! Plus you don’t want to have to babysit your parents on your wedding day. It can be sad that family don’t get along, just remember its not your fault.
Most importantly, remember that your day is about you and your partner and not about other people’s relationships. Make sure you have fun and relax as much as possible, at the end of the day most parents just want to know their kids are happy.